XXL Freshman Freestyle: Chris Patrick – Chris Patrick Lyrics
So when I got that call that Tim died, I started questioning what it mean to live
Heartbeat in your ribs
Like what it mean to love someone when he alive
When he died and death doesn't seem as big?
Desensitized, the funeral coming, you can't even leave the crib
I beat myself up knowing I , analyzed my cowardice
Double-XL named me freshman, I still feel powerless
The fuck these accolades 'posed to mean when your niggas grounded under six feet of dirt?
Survivor's guilt been devouring
Let me regard a man with a face of shame lookin' out of it
How can I balance my flaws my mama praises?
People at the crib lookin' at me stuck in amazement
While eternal warfare dumped in abundance within me rages
My bro mama passed from cancer, corruption up in through phases
Before she died, she forced me to make a promise
As long as I'm alive, keep tellin' the world your story
So I stand here representin' the impoverished
What you seeing is the livin' proof of suicide attempts that never prospered
At twenty-two, I thought my life was destined for a coffin
Damn near married to that faith, but God objected at the altar
Cosplayed happiness so long, I'll fucking end up with a Oscar, Jersey's very own
Being where I'm from, this shit feel bittersweet
Heaven-sent, he sat for lunch with Hov, we had to sit through grief
That call came, found my homegirl body by a river creek's
And now I live my life for both of us while she in blissful peace
Pain is watching kids return to God while seeing mothers cry
Snow days, we learned to shovel holes in case our brothers died
I've came so fucking close to join our partners on the other side
That scar tissue right below my wrist prove that I'm loved alive
Trust that I bled so much for this Henny, the devil cup
Voices of the dead within my head why I don't sleep enough
Oven door propped inside the crib when we was freezin' up
Kitchen floor, nothin' but a blanket just to heat us up
Four for four split 'tween four of us was how we treated
My starvation gave me drive, was at my best when I ain't eat enough
Drive-bys, outline from the truck is where they greeted us
Body can't be shown under the sheet, it's where they seen, but bruh
Life support, pray the EKG won't stop on beepin' up
Doctor's face was how we knew them angels was gon' beam him up
Much respect to , that nigga stepped up when we needed him
I'm on the phone with Nas, he wanna spin back, put a beam on him
I stand in front of the world as a messenger for my people
If Jersey ain't your blood, they'll never see you as equal
Jack Antonoff changed the league, Ms. Hill didn't need a sequel
SZA biggest on the planet, they still think we not lethal
If dyin' for this shit mean bringin' light back to the land
Keep a Bible on the van, Ruger right below the hand
Saint Patrick the Evangelist delighted to expand
I'm screamin', "070" until I'm lifeless in the sand, nigga, Jersey
