Money Can Buy Anything I Want Lyrics, Letra:
CollegeHumor
ALEXA
Hey, Newsie? Uh, hi-ho
PAPERBOY
Extra, hi-ho, read all about it!
You see that skyscraper?
It’s even taller now
And there’s a shadow all over the baseball field!
ALEXA
Yeah, but listen, I was thinking
It’s really hard to build a structure that fast, like-
PAPERBOY
Sure is!
ALEXA
And I mean, in a week
It’s gotten a few stories taller
It got me thinking
It must not be like
Made of official materials in any way?
PAPERBOY
Absolutely not!
She doesn’t like building regulations
So she actively builds it
In a way that is not earthquake-safe
ALEXA
Okay, I think I have a plan to take it down
PAPERBOY
Oh that’s great
Because we’re all way too scared to stand up to Tina
ALEXA
Awww…
TINA (on the skyscraper)
Pinocchio, build it higher!
PINOCCHIO
Yeah, yes ma’am, I’ll build it higher!
TINA
Because you know why?
PINOCCHIO
Why?
TINA
Money can buy anything I want!
PINOCCHIO
Oh, okay, well
You sure you didn’t want to spring for more
‘Cause there are all like
Home Depot two-by-fours
And I’m pretty sure they’re not wood
That’s graded for construction
TINA
I don’t care, build it higher!!
PINOCCHIO
Okaaay!
ALEXA (back on the street)
You’re really good at getting the word out!
PAPERBOY
Heheh, it’s kinda what I do!
ALEXA
Yeah, uhh, we just need
Everyone in town
To pitch in!
I think we could just
Take this thing apart in like an assembly line
PAPERBOY
You want me
To write the headline?
ALEXA
Well, I guess I’m thinking more like
Can you spread the word quickly?
PAPERBOY
Okay, can you say what the words are?
ALEXA
Yeah, sure
PAPERBOY
Yeah, okay
ALEXA
It might be
Something like this, uhhh…